How Can I Get Through The Holidays Sober?
For those of us who are in recovery, the holidays can be like navigating a minefield. I find myself agreeing to attend parties and other events where alcohol and drugs are going to be present, because I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, but I suffer for it. My emotions run high, and I am always tired.
Family memories and holiday customs are often associated with alcohol, and it is so very hard to deal with. By the time the holidays are over, my stress level is through the roof.
This year, I decided something has to change. When the subject of staying sober during the holidays came up at the last meeting I attended, I was all ears. Maybe someone has the answer; maybe someone can tell me how I can enjoy the holidays while staying sober.
It turned out that several people there had some amazing ideas, and I am actually looking forward to the holidays this year now.
Planning Ahead
I am putting a sobriety plan together now, before the holiday festivities begin.
For each event, I am employing one of the following strategies:
- I am going to attend a meeting before and/or after the event.
- I am asking my recovery sponsor or a sober friend to attend parties with me.
- I will not be dependent on someone else for transportation, so I can leave when I want to.
- I am going to set up before and after telephone calls with someone in recovery.
Watching My Emotions
I am making an appointment with my therapist before the holidays begin, so I can talk to her about my expectations for the holidays and the emotions I experience. Things can get pretty rough in my family with past holiday disappointments that still hang in the air. I want to learn how to lower my expectations so I am not disappointed. I want to be able to forgive myself and others, so that I am not tempted to drink to block it all out.
Sometimes, the holidays are so stressful and such a letdown that I feel even worse when they are over. I find myself making excuses for myself to have a drink. This year, I am inviting my sober friends to a New Year’s Day potluck. Instead of feeling depressed, I will have something to look forward to.
Focusing on Others
In keeping with the true spirit of the season, I am going to look for more ways to give and focus less on receiving. Here are some ideas I have come up with:
- Volunteer at a homeless shelter or soup kitchen.
- Purchase some dog and cat treats and donate them to my local Humane Society.
- Volunteer at a nursing home.
- Make a welcome basket for my new neighbor.
Avoiding Vulnerable Situations
Every year at the family gathering, my cousin Wendy finds something to criticize about me. Then there is my older brother, Joe. He loves playing bartender and bugging me to have “just one drink” and not to be “a wet blanket”.
This year I have decided to skip the dinner and come later on in the afternoon. Wendy usually leaves around 5:00 to make her out-of-state drive home, and Joe will have had enough of mixing drinks by then. This way I can avoid those two stressors, and enjoy spending time with the rest of the family.
By following these plans, I am confident I can get through the season with less stress and temptation. It will always be a challenge, but it will be a challenge I can handle.
If your loved one is currently experiencing a problem with addiction to drugs or alcohol, don’t wait until it’s too late. Please contact Beginnings Treatment Centers now to speak with one of our experienced intake advisors. There is no obligation or cost for the initial consultation, and quick action might save your marriage or even the life of your loved one.
