Can I Laugh At My Addicted Past?
Addiction is often approached with a sort of mixed sense of shame and adulation in the United States. On the one hand, addiction, drug use, and alcohol are often glamorized on television and by pop stars and actors who often use, while appearing to live an idyllic lifestyle. On the other hand, addiction is ugly and can and does ruin lives, and for the everyday person, is often a source of shame, guilt, and pain. This is especially true for those of us who have made poor decisions, hurt others, or indebted ourselves while addicted. Friends and family often guilt us into feeling shame, but is that really the emotion that we should be feeling? For most of us, that’s a no, and if you’re asking yourself if it’s okay to laugh at your addicted past, the answer is a definite yes.
Not only is humor a more pleasant emotion, it’s also more sustainable and likely to make you feel better, rather than worse. In fact, it’s also an emotion that is used to treat addiction.
Why Guilt Doesn’t Work
We are often encouraged to feed shame, guilt, and remorse over our actions as addicts. This is especially true when our addictions have led us to make poor decisions, take advantage of others, break the law, or otherwise harm others emotionally or physically. Unfortunately, while people often expect a great deal of guilt from you, it is an emotion that hurts your chances of recovery. Guilt, shame, and depression are very likely to drive you into an emotional state in which you are very likely to relapse. How? These negative emotions depress your reward system, causing extreme lows of emotions and a depression of the natural chemicals that make up your reward system. This ‘low’ will make you crave your substance, which will make you feel better by flooding your reward system with chemicals like dopamine. While a certain amount of guilt can be extremely helpful in motivating you to do better, long-term guilt will only make you depressed and unhappy, and more likely to resort to a substance to try to make yourself feel better.
Taking Responsibility for Your Addiction
While you shouldn’t constantly shame yourself for your addicted past, or allow others to do so, you do have to take some responsibility for your addiction. You aren’t to blame because no one chooses to be an addict, but you have to take responsibility for the choices that led you to addiction, the choices you made while addicted, and that you have to work to improve your life. You might not be to blame for your past, but you are responsible for your future, and you will have to work hard to make it a good one that is alcohol or drug free. Taking responsibility for yourself and your future is crucial to any recovery, because you are the only person who can drive yourself to do better. It’s all on you, and while that might seem scary, you’ve gotten this far.
You Don’t Have to Take Yourself Seriously
If you can face the fact that you are responsible for yourself and for your future, there is no reason why you can’t laugh at your past. Addiction is ugly, can be shameful, embarrassing, or even something we want to hide, but it’s also incredibly personal and unique to each of us. If you can laugh at your past, all the better. Humor is a powerful emotion that can and will help you to feel better about yourself, about your circumstances, and about your future. If you can view your mistakes with humor, you can face your future more positively, because you understand that we all make mistakes, they aren’t the end of the world, and life gets better.
Humor has a documented effect on the brain, and that effect is decidedly positive. Where guilt and shame depress the reward system in the brain, humor lights it up, creating dopamine and serotonin, which can help you to feel better and can even help you to fight off cravings. It also relates positively to self esteem, allowing you to view yourself dispassionately, without real judgment, because you can view yourself in a way that allows you to laugh at your mistakes without feeling shame about them. This is incredibly important because it can influence your long-term recovery, and for the better. Improved self esteem allows you to make better choices, to recover your sense of self, and to ensure that you are less likely to seek out your addiction for a temporary boost, because you are able to provide more for yourself, and therefore feel better on a regular basis.
While your reaction to your own addicted past will most certainly change depending on your history, the extent of your addiction, and your behavior and choices while addicted, science shows that humor is agreat approach to your past. It is important to take responsibility for your future, but humor can actually help you on your way to a full recovery.
If your loved one is currently experiencing a problem with addiction to drugs or alcohol, don’t wait until it’s too late. Please contact Beginnings Treatment Centers now to speak with one of our experienced intake advisors. There is no obligation or cost for the initial consultation, and quick action might save your marriage or even the life of your loved one.
