5 Thoughts That Lead Straight To A Relapse
“Therefore, the main problem of the (alcoholic or addict) centers in their mind rather than their body.” Alcoholics Anonymous, p 23.
Our ability to think is one of our greatest gifts. Rational thought, you might argue, is what differentiates human beings from all other life forms of which we are aware. To be able to consider our surroundings, contemplate our place in the universe, and consider transcendent concepts such as love, truth, and beauty are are all amazing attributes of what it means to be a person in this existence.
So why is our thinking often so screwed up? When we are drinking or using we can blame our addiction, and it is obviously true that it’s hard to think clearly when we are under the influence of alcohol or drugs.
But once we are clean and sober for a while, our thinking often still gets off track. Putting down the alcohol or drugs doesn’t mean that addictive thought patterns are no longer part of our lives.
Today we think of addiction as a disease and even when you are clean and sober for a while you must be on the watch for addictive thought patterns, signs and habits that may cause you to start using or drinking again.
Here are five common mistakes people often make in their thinking that can potentially lead them to a relapse:
1. Blaming Others
If you find yourself pointing your finger at a lot of other people, rather than looking at your own behavior, you may be headed for trouble with your addiction. It is common for those in active addiction to blame others for their issues. This is a form of manipulation, something we try to avoid in recovery.
We have to learn to deal with other people, and even though at times other people are at fault, we still need to look at our part. Blaming others keep us feeling like a victim. Can you take some responsibility as well? Ultimately, you are responsible for the people and events that occur in your own life.
2. Romanticizing Our Drinking Or Using Days
This often takes the form of remembering only the good times when you were drinking or using drugs. Most addicts had periods, sometimes fairly long ones, during which they had few consequences associated with their substance abuse. We have all had our good times. However, those times were usually over by the time we got clean.
Once we cross the line into addiction and became dependent on the drug the consequences began to pile up. If you find yourself smiling about the “good times,” and conveniently forgetting the consequences or misery of your later drug or alcohol use, this is a strong warning sign.
3. Regretting The Past
The opposite of Romanticizing is potentially just as harmful. Regretting the past sets you up to have unrealistic expectations for yourself in the present. You may think to yourself, “I should be so much further in life than I am right now. I’m such a loser.” This type of thinking can lead to depression which can lead you to relapse.
Instead of focusing on the past, look at the present and your future goals. Use affirming words for yourself and focus on your accomplishments thus far. Getting clean and sober is a big deal, and something you should be proud of each and every day.
4. Exaggerating
Our thinking tends to move to one extreme of the other. Part of recovery is trying to achieve a more balanced perspective.
Addicts are great at making a mountain out of a molehill. A negative response when you ask someone out does not mean that you are a worthless, pathetic loser with no chance of ever landing a date again in your entire lifetime.
You also may overlook the good aspects of a situation and focus on what’s wrong. If you have a job, you may think about the small amount of money you’re making and how you should be making more, and about how no one appreciates you, and soon you may want to quit. You forgot that you are sober today, and grateful to have a job at all and not be dead or in jail.
5. Thinking That “Just One” Won’t Hurt
It you find you are talking yourself into “I can have just one”, or “I can control my use this time”, this is one of the most obvious danger signs of an impending relapse. Those serous about their recovery know full well the consequences of substance use, so the first step in using again is to somehow convince themselves that it wasn’t that bad, or that they have changed and thus won’t have the same issues this time around.
The rule of thumb is that those who relapse pick up right where they left off, or at a worse place, since addiction is a progressive disease. It might happen right away, or it may take a few days or weeks, but you will rapidly be in the same or a worse place than you were when you last quit drinking or using drugs.
Watch Your Thinking Today
As you continue in your recovery, be sure to check your thought patterns on a regular basis to see how you are doing. 12 Step Programs incorporate a Step 10, which states “Continued to take personal inventory, and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.” This is something you should do each day.
If you’re struggling with negative feelings like anger, depression, jealousy, you may want to go through these common cognitive errors and see if any of them are affecting the way you think. You want to be able to spot any patterns, habits and signs that can fuel addictive tendencies for yourself and deal with them as soon as possible. Part of recovery is joy and happiness, and watching your thinking patterns can help you to achieve a rewarding and fun way of life free from alcohol and drugs.
Beginnings Treatment Centers provide modern and effective programs for the treatment of substance abuse addiction and alcoholism. Our addiction treatment centers are located in beautiful and sunny Southern California in Orange County, which has one of the strongest and most active recovery communities in the United States. If you or a loved one is currently experiencing a problem with addiction, or if you are concerned and not sure, please Contact Beginnings Treatment Centers Now.
